Any individual who has thought about the ideas of existential way of thinking will welcome the trouble of applying it to their own life. The works of Nietzsche, Sartre or Heidegger for instance, while unique and inventive, are perplexing and hard to get a handle on. Their thoughts additionally challenge the reason on which a lot of Western reasoning is based. Nietzsche expressed that ‘God is Dead’ leaving us to discover significance past some heavenly force. Sartre proposed that ‘Presence goes before Embodiment’ and that we are allowed to make ourselves in any capacity we wish. Heidegger, as opposed to Cartesian Dualistic thoughts, offered the idea of Dasein – we are an existent, ‘tossed’ into a world not based on our very own preference and tested to react to the Call of Inner voice – to truly draw in with what it is ‘to be’.
So by what means can existential way of thinking be of importance to us in the 21st century and all the more especially to the perplexing shuffling act a large portion of us end up in? So as to address that question, it is valuable to look at various existential subjects, for instance, opportunity and decision, uneasiness, obligation, realness and extreme concerns. Notwithstanding, these are words utilized in our ordinary language however with various existential implications. So how might we handle their existential importance when the first works are regularly distant?
I have attempted to pass on these ideas in a direct and available way through the language of Fantasies. For a significant number of us, the idea of Fantasies has enchanted undertones and is comprehended in a symbolic, amazing or legendary way. This isn’t the manner by which I offer Legends however as unchallenged suppositions that encroach on each part of our dynamic. Legends are accordingly inescapable, imaginary, concocted, made up, pretend or false. Inside our social and social world, we are shelled with desires and weights of how to dress, what to eat, what vocation to seek after or how to identify with others. We are continually determined what’s in store as we enter distinctive life-arranges as though every one of us were close to individuals from a cloned gathering. We can obviously, pick how to react to those desires. We can adjust, pull back or go about as people or establishments to achieve social change. Nonetheless, those unchallenged suspicions are inescapable to the point that we may never remain once more from their fortress and think about our decisions past a barely characterized set of alternatives. Our way of life and socialization represses us investigating the huge range of accessible alternatives. As Rousseau said ‘Man is brought into the world free however is wherever in chains’.
Consequently, the existential implications of decision, opportunity, uneasiness, duty and validness require understanding at a level which bodes well in our regular day to day existences. Let us quickly investigate the follow eight Legends and the existential topics they recommend.
The Character Legend – ‘In the event that you need to be upbeat you should fit in with others’ desires and be somebody other than who you need to be’
Childishness Legend – ‘You are egotistical on the off chance that you put your own needs before those of others’
Gathering Legend – ‘It is smarter to be a piece of a gathering than be a person’
Responsibility Fantasy – ‘You can’t change things throughout your life once you have focused on them’
Sureness Legend – ‘There are sure things in life that are fixed and strong and can generally be depended on’
Profound quality Fantasy – ‘There is an obvious good code I should carry on with my life by’
Deceptive nature Legend – ‘I ought to be discrete and unobtrusive in the entirety of my cooperations as opposed to legitimate’
The Fantasy that you can’t change – ‘Prior decisions throughout my life imply that future change isn’t an alternative’
Every one of these Legends, and others, encroach on our regular day to day existences and breaking point our decisions. Every one of them merit further clarification and conversation in their own right, with some being petulant and conceivably inciting solid responses in you.
The two focal topics basic these Legends are Opportunity and Decision. By drawing in with our opportunity and understanding our decisions, nervousness and obligation emerge. Confronted with a definitive worry of our passing, our restricted time on this planet implies we need to settle on decisions and we never know the rightness of those decisions – particularly on the off chance that we acknowledge that no ethical code exists in its definitive structure.
A focal subject in existential way of thinking is that there is a target reality into which we are conceived and which exists separate from ourselves (Kierkegaard 1954, Nietzsche 1938). We along these lines quiet ourselves into a conviction that we are not free and unfit to make who we need to be – our social and social Legends direct the truth of our lives. Sartre (1948) says we try to pull a fast one trying to trick ourselves that we are not free. We endeavor to build various structures through jobs, standards, societies and convictions to characterize our feeling of the real world – to give the fantasy that an outline exists into which we fit and are a piece of. As Van-Deurzen says (1997, p 46) ‘It is simply the essential aptitude of tricking, of shaking oneself to rest, of placating oneself with figments; the fundamental human achievement of self-trickery; dishonesty or mauvaise foi’.
So by what method can existential way of thinking be of pertinence to us and our lives as expert ladies? What are our decisions and how might we live with the uneasiness of stirring things up or scrutinizing the rightness of our choices? We need to live in the social world and think about others and the guidelines which empower us to understand our decisions. The issue isn’t one of dismissing all that is expecting of us – the issue is that we DO have a decision. The inquiry is whether we challenge the unchallenged presumptions, grow our decisions and live with the nervousness that significant living involves.
The legitimacy of our decisions is frequently addressed when we become disappointed with our lives regardless of accomplishing huge numbers of the things we longed for. We long to have it everything except discover it progressively hard to shuffle our employments, our youngsters, our homes and our mental soundness! We accept that if no one but parity could be struck between the various aspects of our lives, we could unwind. Constantly, this parity is never accomplished and we become onlookers in our own life, wanting for the day when it would all improve.
The inquiry is ‘The thing that do every one of us really need from our lives?’ Society’s Legends frequently bring about us looking over a restricted cluster of alternatives accessible – it is accepted that ‘having it everything except in balance’ is the route forward. Perhaps it’s definitely not. Perhaps the parts that make up the equalization have never been addressed. Maybe this is the motivation behind why numerous ladies legal counselors are presently leaving the calling. The various parts making up the entire just can only with significant effort be shuffled! Perhaps we have never removed time from our bustling lives to look at the full scope of choices before us? We look over a tight scope of decisions on offer however never stop to thoroughly consider thoroughly consider ‘out of the case’ and make the existence we need.
As an existential psychotherapist I accept that we are each the best adjudicator of what is directly for us. Be that as it may, by looking at the job of Fantasies in our lives, we can grow our choices, reconnect with our decisions and judge the rightness of them. My own training, educated by existential standards, offers a chance to build up a dream of what your optimal life would resemble. This gives a measuring stick against which every single future choice can be based – the inquiry ‘Does this add to me understanding my vision?’ will keep you on target.
Be that as it may, tolerating tension as an unavoidable piece of focusing on our decisions is an existential reality. Rollo May (1975:21) says ‘ Duty is the most advantageous when it isn’t without question, yet despite question. To accept completely and simultaneously to have questions isn’t at all an inconsistency: it surmises a more prominent regard for truth, a mindfulness that fact consistently goes past whatever can be said or done at some random minute’.